Searching
by aubrie
Summary: What if you could relive your life? What if you could make up for all those mistakes you made? Well, now Rikku can - but can she help decide her fate? ((Aurikku, Lukka + a bit of Yudis)) **CHAPTER 3 UP**
1. Introduction

Hey all!

Guess your thinking 'Not another Aurikku' but do not worry!  I realise that not everyone likes Aurikku's so I'm gonna put a lot more action into this story as well as a bit of Lukka ;) I don't know if I'll put a lot of Yudis in because I love Tidus!  Of course, I'll try just for those fans out there!

For those of you who started reading my last story, "Eternal Bond", I realised who rubbish the storyline was (I hadn't really thought it out properly) so I thought it would be pointless to carry on with it.

I'm also still trying to work out how to use this site.  I can't work out how to do line breaks and stuff so if it's a huge block of writing, I'll be changing it really soon to fix it.  I don't understand half the lingo here either :S I've picked up that Aurikku is AuronxRikku, Yunis/Yudis is YunaxTidus and Lukka is LuluxWakka.  I don't understand what AU is so if you can help me with any of this, please email me or r+r or something.  Thanks ^_^

And now for the story…

..::Rikku::..

(rikku__al_bhed)


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

"W-Where am I?"

The words echoed for what seemed like an eternity.  Wherever she was, it didn't seem quite right.  She didn't feel herself.  She felt numbed, like she weren't quite there.  She tried to walk, jump, wave her hand; anything to check she was still herself.  But nothing.

"Where am I?"

She repeated herself but still – nothing.  She seemed to have just descended into emptiness.  More than emptiness.  Nothingness.

"Hello?  Anyone?"

A veil of fog had at some point fell upon her line of vision; colours of dark greens, velvety white, midnight blues, silk lilacs - the true meaning of subtle – danced before her eyes.

She was getting weary.  She couldn't resist the urge to just close her eyes.  Yet she felt that if she did, if she gave in, something would happen.  Like she'd just fade away.  The deathly silence that cloaked this place was beginning to wear away what was left of the woman.  She felt herself begin to shake, to quiver with fear – even if she wasn't there to begin with.

"Anyone?  Where am I, please!  Help me!"

Suddenly, a blinding white light flashed before her eyes.  She should be squinting; shielding her eyes from the blinding rays but for some reason she didn't need to.  She stared at it, burning with curiosity.  But the light; it began to fade.

"No!  No…please.  Don't leave me here."

The light stopped, keeping it's luminosity just so that you couldn't quite tell if it was really there or not.

"Excuse me – please – Where am I?"

A deep voice finally shattered the silence like a knife, booming out from all directions.

"Welcome to the Farplane…Rikku."


	3. The Farplane

**I. The Farplane**

Rikku gasped, the only sound that could be heard for what seemed like millions of miles around judging by the ever-lasting echo.

"W-What?"

"Welcome to the Farplane."

"Yea, I heard that," Her eyes, if she had any in this place, were wide and she shook her head frantically in disbelief.  "What I mean is, this can't be the Farplane.  It just can't be.  The Farplane is for the dea-"

It hit her.  But it couldn't be.

"You are dead Rikku."

"No.  You see, last thing I remember, I was fighting a fiend.  An anacondaur if I remember rightly – yea, it was.  I was fighting with my husband and my best friend and…and…then I don't know.  I just remember the fiend staring at me and I felt like I couldn't move and…and then…it's tail.  It swung round.  And.  And then I was here.  So I couldn't…have…died."

_++==FLASHBACK==++_

_A blonde al bhed woman, another tall al bhed male and what seemed like a half-guado all stood in the Calm Lands.  They'd already taken out the shred and the skoll and with one final hit, the anacondaur was about to go out too.  Ryua, the male, leapt forward, thrusting out his Kaiser Knuckles in an attempt to tear open the soft exposed skin of the anacondaur's stomach and finish this fiend off for good. He missed.  The anacondaur lurched forward and stared at Rikku with its one large, shining, mesmerising red eye.  She couldn't help but stare.  Then the petite goggled fighter turned to stone.  She was petrified._

_"Rikku!" Ryua shouted, eyes wide with fear for his wife.  He reached into her side-bag.  Where was that soft?  He knew there was one left.  Where was it?  The anacondaur begin to lift its heavy tail high above it's head.  Ryua found the soft.  He threw it, hoping to save his loved one.  The tail crashed down upon the stone statue of the former al bhed woman.  It shattered.  The soft hit the ground.  It was too late.  She was dead.  She was gone.  The guado threw a bomb core at the fiend and watched as its entrails flew into the sky and landed with a small 'squelch'._

_++==END FLASHBACK==++_

It finally sunk it.  Rikku was dead.  She could shake.  She couldn't vomit.  She couldn't cry.  She couldn't do anything.  She was dead.  She stood – at least, she thought she was standing, she really couldn't tell anymore – in silence.  A minute passed.  Or maybe it was an hour.  It could have even been a day.  She still couldn't believe it.

"S-So, what now?"

The light, which had stayed with Rikku through her grievances, became slightly brighter.

"You have spent your whole life trying to make Spira a better place.  First, you helped defeat Sin with the summoner Yuna.  And you then travelled Spira, till this very day, in hope of destroying all fiends..."

"And now I'm dead?"

"We have decided to give you a second chance."

The words shocked Rikku.  If she'd found believing she was dead hard, this was even worse.

"But I'm d-dead."

"For your acts of bravery, we have rewarded you a second chance.  You have spent your life thinking of others so much that you have put your feelings on hold.  Therefore, we have decided to give you a second chance."

"So…So I can g-go back n-now?  Back to R-Ryua?"

Her 34-year old body was quivering in excitement.

"No."

She hiccupped in shock.

"Why? You – you said I could go back.  Why can't I?"

"We, of the Farplane, only have power before Sin was destroyed.  We can only send you back to a time when Sin was still alive, still terrorising Spira."

"So, where will I go?"

"We will send you back to a time you were on a scavenger ship, shortly before you met a man called Tidus.  You will have a choice.  You can choose to once again save Spira or live your life the way you truly want to live it."

"You mean I'll meet Tidus – and Lulu – and Wakka – and..and Yunie?  All over again?"

"Yes."

"And I'll get to what - choose my fate this time?"

"Yes."

"But I-I won't see Ryua ever again?  Ever?"

"That is the way it must be."

"How long will I have to decide?  When will I go back?  When-"

She opened her eyes.  She was leaning against something cold and hard.  Like metal.

"Rikku!  Get over here!  We've found something and we need you to dive down."

She was on the ship.

+++===+++===+++===+++

Ryua was on the floor, roaring in both agony and anger.  His wife was gone.  And he was going to get her back.  Soon.

Moi===+++===+++===+++

I know not a lot happens in this chapter but it just sets the story.  The ends a bit rushed so sorry about that.  Please r+r so far but be nice!  ^^

..::Rikku::..

(rikku__al_bhed)


	4. Déjà Vu

II. Déjà Vu 

She looked around.  What had happened?  Why wasn't she in the Calm Lands?  She held her head, feeling slightly light headed; like one who had just woken from a long, dark sleep.  Then it hit her.  She had died.  She had gone to the Farplane.  She had been given a second chance.

Rikku stood up.  The blonde al bhed felt awkward in her 15-year old body.  She looked down.  Yes, it was true.  Her old knee-high boots with the delicate orange feather falling off them.  Her green frayed shorts at the top of her long slender legs with the pale belt hanging loosely over them.  The tight – tighter than it should have been, now she looked at it – orange tanktop she was strapped into with the long blue ribbons, elaborately embroidered in white.  There was no denying it now.  She hadn't worn this outfit since _it_ happened.  She cringed as her mind began to wonder back to the day they had gone against Sin: her, Yunie, Lulu, Wakka, Kimahri, Tidus – and Auron.

Feeling hot tears begin to sting her eyes, she blinked them away and took at step forward.

"Hey, Rikku?  You listening?"

She looked up, her head spinning.  She was confused – and now she had to go diving?  Thinking she better say something quick, she managed to stutter,

"Err…Yea.  Sorry, I'm just kinda tired, ya know?"

"Well," a tall, rough looking man in orange turned round to her, "you better wake up.  You're going down with Tetra-Squad.  We found some ruins with a high source of fuel nearby so we need you guys to go gather some for the machina."

As if on cue, the rest of the Tetra-Squad spewed out from the hangar onto the deck and presently began to dive down into the murky depths of the Submerged Ruins.  Rikku, still unsure in her adolescence, walked tipsily towards the edge of the ship and took a deep breath, ready to dive.

"Aren't you going to gear up first?"

Thinking hard, she thought for a brief shining second that she remembered doing something before diving but no, it was gone before it was even there.  She waved her hand, dismissing the subject.

"Ermm…No.  I'll chance it, ya know."

And with that, she dived down into the thick polluted water, surrounding her frail body.

+++===+++===+++===+++

He had journeyed long and was extremely tired but it was his determination to get Rikku back that had kept Ryua going.  He had just arrived in Bevelle and still had a long way to get to his destination.  However, after fighting numerous fiends on his travels so far, the sleep that was depriving his senses of their usual sharpness was beginning to win and so, the rugged al bhed walked into the nearby inn.  Eager to start his journey again to tomorrow, eager to continue his search for his lost love one, he finally gave in to the sleep that was plaguing him.

+++===+++===+++===+++

Yes, she could remember this perfectly.  The same old crumbling building.  The same deafening silence surrounding her squad.  She stepped through the ancient doors and sure enough, there was Tidus fighting that brutal Klikk.  Just like the first time it had happened, he was thrown onto the floor like a mere rag-doll.  Giving in to her urges to help the man she, in the past, had come to know and love, she ran forward and screamed,

"Tidus!"

He looked at her, seriously puzzled.  How did this girl know his name?  He scratched his head as he stood up.  The Klikk seized this opportunity and leapt forward, digging it's razor-sharp claws into Tidus' bear leg.  Tidus gasped.  Near to death now, he couldn't help but watch as blood began to ooze out of the deep cut above his knee.

Rikku had to do something, she couldn't watch him in pain for much longer.  She knew that this had to be her time to shine.  If she did nothing, the blitz player would surely die.  The he's never go to Besaid.  Then he'd never meet Yuna.  Then he'd never become a guardian.   Then he'd never-

The Klikk began to stalk forward, it's beady eyes staring at Tidus' weakening body, it's mouth foaming in wait for it's next meal.  It prepared to jump…There was an explosion.  The Klikk was hurled backwards, damaging one of its claws in the process.  Rikku was already searching for another grenade, wishing she had her claw with her.  How she wished she were back with Ryua – at least then, she'd have her Godhand.

"Dammit," she cursed.  She had no grenades left.  Rikku jumped forward, swiping the Klikk in an attempt to steal anything she could use as a weapon.  She was in luck; her hand returned with another two grenades.

Another grenade, another swipe, another grenade and a slash of her claw and the Klikk's lifeless body fell to the floor.  A few of the squad rushed forward, looking to scavenge any meat that could be used on board ship.  Just as she remembered, the squad leader – Rid if she remembered rightly – stepped towards Tidus.  He was going to attack him again.  But judging by the state Tidus was in; Rikku doubted he would survive this time.  Rid was getting nearer…and reaching for his Tempest Claw.

"No!"

Rikku jumped in the way, barely fitting in the small gap between the two men.  However, her face caught the steel-tooth grip of Rid's claw and cringed as it tore through the flesh on her cheek.  But still, she stood strong.

"Rikku – move.  We must destroy the fiend."

Blurry eyed with tears, she stood her ground.

"No.  He is no fiend.  He is to come with me.  We will return back to the ship."

Her short, sharp sentences gave her voice an edge of authority – reminding herself of when she was commanding her troops in the Mi'Ihen Highroad raid on fiends.  Of course, now she thought about it, it had never happened.  Nothing she had done in her life had happened.  Nevermind that now, she reached down and helped Tidus up.  He was weary of this girl, after all she had weapons and - judging by the rest of her people - weren't afraid to use them, but he was in pain and gladly accepted the help he was offered.

Moi===+++===+++===+++===

Okay – I know this chapters a bit boring too but you need them to set the scene.  Be happy ^^ Please r+r and let me know if you have any idea's for storyline twists (but I guess that will ruin the surprise)  Hmm…guess I'll upload this now :)  By for now!

Major twist in the next chapter (I hope).

Ciao!

..::Rikku::..

(rikku__al_bhed)


	5. Urgency

III. Urgency 

==++

_Of all the things I believed in_

_I just wanted to get this over with_

_-Michelle Branch "Goodbye to You"_

==++

"So let me get this right,"

Tidus scratched his head as he looked at the strangely dressed girl.

"You're Rikku and you're an al bhed."

"Uh-huh!"  The blonde nodded her head enthusiastically, smiling at the confused blitzball player.

"And you say I have to go to some place called Besaid to meet a what?"

"A summoner – her name's Yuna.  You _have_ to meet her!  If you don't –" her voice wavered as a sea of emotion crashed down upon her as her mind began to wander back "- well, if you don't something bad will happen!"

"Okay!  Okay!"  Tidus waved his gloved hand, dismissing the urgency in Rikku's voice.  "So, how do I get there?"

"Well…" Rikku stopped and tilted her head, her brow furrowed in thought.  She hadn't thought about that.  She herself had never been to Besaid.  Before Yunie, she had never even _heard_ of Besaid!

"Well?"

An idea came to mind.  "I'll steal a map for you and you can take a boat.  Of course, we'll have to do it during the night though.  I'll tell them that you used your …err…powers to make me fall asleep and then you stole one of our boats!"  Rikku beamed with pride over her complex plans and her smile seemed to light up even the most dismal of her surroundings.  However, her pride was short-lived.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait a sec!  You mean I have to go alone?"

Tidus certainly didn't look happy, his expression matching the anxious one on the al bhed's pale face.  With a sharp gasp as a shock of pain stung his body, Tidus stood up.  His injuries still hadn't healed and Rikku knew it.  And yet thinking back, Rikku could have sworn his recovery had been almost immediate the first time it happened – when she was 15.  Not a 34 year old stuck inside a 15 year old body.

"Well, I – I can't…"

Rikku was stuttering.  In her heart of hearts she did want to go with him.  She wanted to see everyone again.  Yuna.  Wakka.  Lulu. Even Kimahri.  But she couldn't.  She told herself that.  "I can't.  I can't go." She muttered under her breath.

"Sorry – come again?"

"Ohh...nothing," she tried to giggle and make it true but the only sound she made was more of a hiccup.  She knew that Tidus wouldn't make it to Besaid without her – what with his injuries _and_ his current confusion.  But she couldn't go with him.  If she did, she would have to relive it.  Relive all that pain…all that suffering.

"Why should I believe you anyway?"  Tidus turned and began to pace about the deck.  His head was throbbing and he could no longer even feel his arm.  But he shouldn't tell the strange girl that.  If it did come down to fighting her, it would probably be better if she thought he was the stronger of the two.  "All I want to do is get home.  I have a big blitzball game tomorrow and – and I have to get home."

Rikku had already explained everything to Tidus; about Yevon, about Sin, about the al bhed – but he still didn't believe her, which she truthfully didn't believe he would anyway.  Yet there was something.  Something she couldn't quite remember.  But it was there – and it was frightening her.  But what was it?

"You don't have to believe me but – but – you have to go.  Y-You have to go now."

Rikku held her head.  It all felt like some sort of dream; like she'd experienced all this before but something was being held back.  She couldn't remember what it was exactly – but she knew it meant danger.  Tidus had to leave.  He had to leave now.  Or he'd die.

"But I thought you said we'd go at night?"

Tidus really didn't understand the urgency of the situation.  Rikku had no other choice.

"Listen – I know you're not going to believe this but I'm from the…."

Suddenly the ship tilted drastically, throwing the two across the deck like toys.

_==++FLASHBACK++==_

_"Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!"_

_The whole of the al bhed crew flowed from the one exit out on to the deck, surprisingly efficient in the disastrous situation.  Sin's mutated and horrific fin reared it's ugly head out of the murky water, sending another wave of water to beat down upon the rusting ship.  The ship lurched again._

_Rikku and Tidus held each other.  They cowered against the rails, as far as they could get from Sin.  The ship heaved again, throwing Rikku into a wall.  Another wave.  Another heart-stopping groan from the weakening hull.  Another violent shake.  It was all too much for the star player of the Zanarkand Abes.  He weakened.  And he was gone._

_"Tidus!…."_

_==++END FLASHBACK++==_

Sin.  Why hadn't she remembered?  Another wave crashed against the side of the ancient ship.  Once again, the al bhed people spilled out onto the deck…Sin's fin appeared…but where was Tidus?  She looked around frantically, trying to remain upright against the constant shakes and shift of the deck.

"Tidus!"

She was screaming.  A wave caught her off guard and she was thrown down to the floor like the weak teenager she was.  Then a blur.  A blur of blue…and yellow…and black.  She felt a blow to her stomach and she was thrown to the railings.  She blinked, her vision blurred by the constant rain and explosions of waves as they hit the floor with solid force.  It was Tidus.  He was holding her around the stomach.  He had saved her.

"We'll stay here," he said, with a strange calmness, "It'll go soon."

"No, no we can't," Rikku breathed, "We have – have to find a – a boat."

She was winded.  And cold.  And scared.  Her head was spinning with a million thoughts.  This wasn't what happened.

"There's a boat – I think – around there."  She pointed with a trembling finger to the far side of the ship.  "We'll have to go quick.  We can't stay here."

Tidus nodded and held Rikku's shivering body to his.

"On three," he shouted above the roaring of the waves and the shouting of the now frantic al bheds.  Another wave reared it's giant head – bigger than all the other waves.  This one threatened serious damage – and it was about to fall.  Tidus saw this with wide eyes.  He gulped.  "THREE!"

He and Rikku stumbled across the churning ship, slipping on the soaked deck and blinded by the ever-lasting rain.  Rikku felt herself loose her footing as the wave struck the ship and it was once-again thrown out of its correct alignment.  She was going to fall.

Tidus' strong hand gripped hers and he turned to her and smiled.

"If we're gonna make this, you're gonna have to stop making me save you all the time."

Rikku giggled, despite the chaos around her.  They ran with what was left of their might across the last of the deck and reached the rusted boat.  Struggling against the tossing and turning of her own ship – her home – Rikku got herself into the boat and began to prepare it for shoving off.  Tidus joined her.

"Lets go!" he shouted over the deafening noise.  Rikku nodded in reluctant agreement.  She lowered the frail boat into the water and began to unhook it from the main ship.  But something was wrong.  It wouldn't go.  It was stuck. Stuck to the ship.

Tidus looked at her, an edge of worry – or confusion maybe – tingeing his boyish features.

"We're stuck."

The orange-clad girl looked at the docking mechanism.  A single piece of cord had hooked over into a harpoon shooter and that single cord was what was halting them from salvation.  She pointed and Tidus looked too.  A look of anguish struck his face.

Before he even knew it, Rikku leapt forward and grabbed a protruding rope that hung over the side of the ship.  Tidus gasped.  The blonde lifted herself and with amazingly agility, began to scale the sleek side of the ship.  The rain continued to drum into her eyes, robbing her of the sense she needed the very most.  Trusting her instincts, Rikku continued to heave herself up the side.

She was close to the deck now.  Using the little strength she had, she reached up for the rope.  Sin moved again, sending an angry tide at the severely dented ship.  Despite the worrying groan from the vessel, Rikku heaved herself a little further up.  Her slender fingers brushed against the drenched rope, but she still couldn't quite reach it.

"Incoming!"

Tidus' voice rose out from the commotion as two sinscales landed next to him in the boat.  Tidus, not yet the hero he was to become, stumbled clumsily as he reached for his sword.  However, he was too late as the stronger of the scales crept forward and attacked him.  Tidus cringed, hot tears stinging his eyes, as the fiend sunk it's teeth – or whatever they were – into the same spot as his earlier wound.

Rikku watched all this in horrified awe.  She knew she had to so something, anything now.  She gulped.  It was now or never.  Thrusting herself upwards, she let go of the attacked wall and jumped for the rope.  For those few milliseconds, her heart stopped beating.  The noise and chaos around her became nothing.  Nothing mattered.  She'd either die now – or save Tidus, save Spira.

She got it!  But it was still caught, and she hung helplessly by the one hand.  But she wasn't about to give in.  Taking a deep breath, she reached up to the rope with her other free hand.  Cursing her weak self, she managed to do this but the result was not what she had hoped for.

The extra weight caused the rope to unravel, sending the brave al bhed back down to her boat where Tidus impaled the last sinscale with his sword.  However, the rope had been caught on the harpoon shooter and as it jerked free, it sent a raid of harpoons towards Sin, a lone rope flying behind each one.  The ship was attached to Sin – and Sin was leaving.

The ugly fin disappeared below the water and began to turn away.  The scavenger ship was helplessly pulled down and away.  Rikku screamed and reached forward towards her sinking home.  Tidus had to hold the panicking, remorseful young girl to stop her from jumping out of the boat.  Rikku cried.

She had done it, but at what price?

She had saved Tidus – but doomed her people.

Had she already chosen her fate?

MOI+++===+++===+++===

I know this chapter's a bit rubbish, but it's because I was in a rush.  Sorry there's no twists like I said there would be, they'll be in the next chapter instead.  Next chapter will be better, I promise!  ^^

By the way, when you r+r, can you please say which of these you'd prefer because I can't decide :S

- RikkuxAuron

- RikkuxTidus

- TidusxRikkuxAuron

- YunaxTidusxRikkuxAuron

Hmm…some big love messes!  Obviously, it's gtta include Rikku in some way as she's the main (and best :P) character.  Any other ideas? R+r them!

..::Rikku::..

(Rikku__al_bhed)

PS: I noticed lots of people have those little quotey/song things at the beginning of chapters and I thought they were pretty cool so I thought I'd try them out.


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